Teaching Backstage Etiquette to Kids: Why It Matters and How to Start Early

As dance teachers, we pour countless hours into preparing our students for performances, polishing choreography, fitting costumes, and encouraging confidence. But one area that often gets overlooked until the last minute is backstage etiquette. Yet teaching this from the very beginning, even to your youngest dancers, is just as important as rehearsing the final bow.

If you’ve ever been backstage at a recital with dozens of little dancers running around in tutus and tap shoes, you know how quickly things can go from magical to mayhem. Over the years, I’ve learned that teaching backstage etiquette isn’t just about keeping order—it’s about teaching respect, safety, and professionalism. And yes, even your three-year-olds can learn how to behave in the wings.

Why Backstage Etiquette Matters

Backstage is its own world. It’s a place full of quick changes, whispered cues, and controlled chaos. When dancers no matter how young understand the expectations backstage, the entire performance experience improves.

Here’s why it’s essential:

Safety: Dancers moving quietly and carefully reduce the risk of accidents or injuries backstage.
Respect: A quiet backstage shows respect for the performers on stage and helps create a supportive environment.
Confidence: Kids who know what to expect are more confident. They walk into show day with a sense of purpose and calm.
Community: When everyone follows the same etiquette, even toddlers feel like part of a team working toward a shared goal.

Yes, Even Your 3-Year-Olds Can Learn

I remember my first time teaching a preschool class that performed in the studio recital. At the time, I wasn’t sure how much they could really absorb beyond just “stand on your spot and smile.” But then I started integrating simple behavior lessons during class time—like practicing how to “wait for our turn,” how to “tiptoe like a stage mouse,” and how to “zip our lips backstage.”

To my surprise, they loved it.

Kids love structure and routine. When you take time to explain what backstage looks and feels like in terms they can understand, they’ll rise to the occasion.

💡 Pro Tip: Rehearse backstage behavior like you would a dance combo. Kids learn through repetition, and this helps reduce anxiety on show day.

What to Teach: A Breakdown by Topic

Let’s break down the essential topics of backstage etiquette that should be covered in the weeks leading up to a performance.

1. How to Behave in the Wings

The wings are a magical place. They are the last stop before the big moment on stage. But they’re also where distractions can easily become disruptions. Here’s what to teach:

Whisper or stay silent while waiting to go on stage
No peeking around the curtain or talking to tech crew
Be still– no running, spinning, or “practicing” in the wings
Eyes on the teacher or helper so cues aren’t missed

For young dancers, turn this into a game. Try playing “Freeze in the Wings” or practice tiptoeing quietly during warm-ups.

2. Dressing Room Manners

The dressing room is where all the excitement builds, but it’s also a place that can quickly become chaotic. This is especially true if your studio or venue shares a single space for all age groups.

Teach students:

Respect each other’s space (no touching other costumes or bags)
Use indoor voices to keep the environment calm
Clean up after yourself-especially snack wrappers or makeup items
Ask before helping-younger kids love to assist, but they need guidance

I like to do a “Dressing Room Roleplay” during class time. We act out a pretend scene where someone spills a snack or forgets a hairpiece, and students have to figure out the polite and responsible way to handle it.

3. Show Time Expectations

Even before they take their final bow, there are things your dancers should know:

No talking during other performances backstage or side stage
Stay in your assigned spot until a teacher or helper directs otherwise
Be proud and professional—a recital is more than just fun; it’s a celebration of hard work

🎤 I once had a 4-year-old scream “I HAVE TO GO POTTY!” from the wings mid-solo. From that moment on, I added a bathroom break song to our backstage lineup and started walking through backstage etiquette every single week.

When to Teach It: The Earlier, the Better

You don’t need to wait for tech rehearsal to teach backstage etiquette. In fact, the earlier you introduce it, the better prepared your dancers will be. Start 4-6 weeks before the show and reinforce expectations in every class.

Here’s a sample weekly breakdown for younger dancers:

Week 1: Introduce “What is backstage?” with visuals or pictures
Week 2: Practice standing quietly in a line & whispering in the wings
Week 3: Dressing room manners skit or coloring sheet
Week 4: Create a “Recital Rules” chant or song
Week 5: Full walk-through of backstage and wings (if possible)
Week 6: Review + Recital Party Prep

Making It Fun for Littles

Here are some creative ways to make backstage etiquette stick:

Coloring pages of backstage behavior (like “Quiet in the Wings!”)
Etiquette BINGO with stickers or stamps
Backstage Buddy System pair older dancers with littles for show day
Praise & rewards positive reinforcement goes a long way

Bonus Tip: Communicate with Parents

Your little dancers’ behavior backstage often starts with their parents. Make sure families know the expectations:

Send a “Backstage Guide” handout
Go over drop-off/pick-up procedures
Encourage parents to talk about etiquette at home
Be clear about who is allowed backstage and when

Final Thoughts: It’s More Than Just Manners

Teaching backstage etiquette is about more than keeping things quiet and clean. It’s about creating a culture of care, professionalism, and pride starting from the moment our dancers enroll in class.

Even your tiniest ballerinas can learn how to be part of something bigger than themselves. The key is to start early, make it fun, and treat it like every other important part of your performance prep.

Because backstage isn’t just a place dancers pass through, it’s where memories, lessons, and lifelong habits are formed.

If this post helped, share it with a fellow teacher or parent getting ready for recital season.
🩰 For more teaching tips, read:

Happy Dancing!

Taylor B

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